A Shot at Happiness
by Casa Circe
Summary: Set during the curse and pre-Henry. Sick of the monotony of Storybrooke life, Regina decides to take Gold's advice and pay Dr. Hopper a visit. Happiness doesn't happen overnight and sometimes one simply needs to take a chance. Regal Cricket.
1. Chapter 1

A Shot at Happiness

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters in this story and that is my curse._

_NOTE: I just thought that at one point during the curse and before Henry's arrival, Regina might have listened to Mr. Gold's advice and paid a visit to Dr. Hopper. This may be read as a continuation of "His Beloved Constant" but that story also stands on its own so I split it. Sorry for the cheesy title. My creative juices ran a bit dry there. Titles are always so tricky._

_I intended it to be a one-shot but it became longer than I expected so perhaps there will be one or two more chapters after this. But this won't be a very long story._

She was supposed to be happy here.

But things were not going according to plan. And though at first she thought she was immune to the effects of the curse, she was beginning to feel like there was another price to pay for her desired happiness.

The queen had not thought it possible but she now hated everyone in that town even more. She hated the way they blindly followed all her orders without fighting back. She hated the way they went about their routine lives without feeling the tedium. She hated how they were blissfully unaware of the curse they were living, how they were free of their past memories, and therefore, free of their past pain. Though every now and then they may feel a dull ache for something they could not understand, they went on with their lives unburdened by all the struggles of their old lives.

But not her. She remembered everything, and seeing the faces of people she loathed every day only made it worse. It wasn't fair. They were supposed to be suffering from the curse but instead they lived in carefree ignorance. And she was the only one in misery. It wasn't fair. This was not how it was supposed to be.

These angry thoughts filled her head as she walked down the street every day, every day just like the day before albeit with very minor alterations. Life followed a steady, reliable pattern that even she seemed incapable of breaking. This was the curse. This was how it was going to be forever. She shuddered at the thought.

"Good morning, Madame Mayor!" called the familiar voice.

Some days she was so irritated by his cheeriness but today, it seemed an almost welcome distraction. She gave him a short glance of acknowledgment and this time, she made sure that she didn't run into Mary Margaret. Regina didn't feel like making contact with _that_ woman today. Instead, the mayor stopped in her tracks and watched as Dr. Hopper and Pongo crossed the street. She watched as he continued to greet everyone else he saw with the same warmth and exuberance.

Regina watched him with growing interest. She had never really thought about him before. He was one of those people she had simply lumped together as "allies of Snow" and she never had any particular grudge against him other than his association with her stepdaughter.

And now, she realized that of all the people in that town, he was the only one who truly smiled at her.

True, no one dared glare or frown at her, but they all regarded her warily. For reasons other than her power and position as mayor, they feared her, as if something deep within them knew she was capable of so much worse. And they would be right, of course.

But he was never afraid to look her in the eye and to greet her everyday. And though the frequency and regularity of his pleasantries often irritated her, she realized that he was always sincere in wishing her a good morning. Nothing in his manner was forced. He never said anything to her out of fear or awe. He did not know who she was but neither did anyone else in town and they all kept their distance.

Everyone but him.

Why?

Trying to decipher the reasons behind Dr. Hopper's friendliness gave Regina a little distraction from her darker thoughts. She pondered over his inexplicable behavior for a few days and even paid more attention to him whenever their paths crossed everyday. Why was he always so eager to greet her? Why did he smile at her even when she only scowled back? Why was his the only friendly face in a town full of strangers?

Once when she complained about her dissatisfaction to Rumpel- Mr. Gold, he suggested that she pay a visit to Dr. Hopper. She had shrugged off that option then but after several months of the maddening tedium of life in Storybrooke, she now considered it. As much as she loathed Mr. Gold, she had to admit that he always knew what he was talking about (even if he didn't always divulge all the information to the people concerned.)

She didn't think it likely that she would find happiness simply by talking to a shrink. But as days passed, in their endless monotony, she decided she would give it a shot. After all, she had nothing better to do.

-0-0-0-

There was an unfamiliar knock on his door. Archie put down the papers he was working on and threw a puzzled glance at Pongo who had raised his head curiously. But since the Dalmatian sensed no danger, Archie didn't worry even if he wasn't expecting anyone at that hour but he didn't

He opened the door and found himself face to face with Mayor Mills.

"Dr. Hopper," she said curtly.

"Madame Mayor!" he cried in surprise and with far more excitement than he had intended. He could not suppress a wide grin as it spread across his face at the sight of her.

She raised an eyebrow at him but not in a hostile way. She was wondering why he seemed so happy to see her.

Archie managed to regain enough composure and dignity to welcome her in properly.

"How may I help you?"


	2. Chapter 2

They spent the first few moments in silence, neither knowing what to say.

Regina berated herself for choosing to come at all but struggled to maintain a cold and dignified demeanor. Her haughty expression effectively masked the uncertainty and awkwardness she was feeling. Upon entering the office she had made some general comment to indicate that this was by no means an official consultation and that she was not there as a patient. Neither was she there as the mayor. She didn't know how to explain her presence so she kept her silence mysteriously.

Archie, on the other hand, could barely contain his surprise and excitement at this unexpected visit. He knew that his job was to listen to whatever she had to say so he didn't pressure her into speaking but instead, waited as patiently as he could. The lady mayor was not one to be dictated to, after all.

At length, it was she who broke the silence.

"Doesn't this bore you?"

Archie stared back at her in puzzlement. Of all the things he had imagined she would say, he had not expected that and he was at a complete loss to respond to it. But she was staring at him intently and expectantly, waiting for a reply and he felt under a lot of pressure.

"I'm sorry?" he asked confusedly.

"This life," Regina explained, "Every day the same thing over and over. Doesn't it bore you?"

Now that he finally understood what she meant, Archie gave her question some more thought. But he didn't want to leave her waiting for long, knowing that she wasn't a patient woman.

"To be honest, Madam Mayor," he replied as honestly as he could, "that never occurred to me before. I've been living like this for as long as I can remember and I've never found any cause to complain."

A look of disappointment came over the lady's face and she sighed.

"Of course," she muttered with a slight hint of bitterness, "_you_ would never complain."

Archie watched her carefully. She seemed genuinely dismayed by his answer and he wished he could have said something that would have made her feel better instead of worse. But now that he had some idea of her problem, he would try and find a way to help her. She would never admit it but he knew that she had come to ask for help.

"Is that what's been bothering you?" he asked in concern.

She didn't need to say anything but he already knew the answer. Instead, she asked him another question.

"Are you happy here?"

Again, Archie paused to consider his answer. Normally he would have said "yes" immediately but after what Regina had said before he was beginning to have some doubts. For the most part, he had been content with his lot in life. He had not encountered any insurmountable difficulties and he had everything that he needed. There was nothing missing in his life, somehow. Everything was fine. And yet…

His hesitation was not lost on her and the mayor derived some small satisfaction from somehow piercing through the doctor's constant state of cheeriness. It's not that she wanted to torment anyone more than the curse already did. But she was glad that there was someone else in that town, for once, sharing in her uncertainty, even to a small degree.

"I believe so," he replied eventually.

"You don't sound too sure," Regina remarked.

"Like I said," Archie replied, "I've never had any cause to complain. I've been perfectly content all my life and I cannot remember a time when I've been sad or unhappy. So yes, I suppose I am happy here."

"Then, you're very lucky," Regina commented coldly.

Archie was taken aback by the harshness of her tone and struggled to say something that would ease her mind.

"But Madam Mayor," he said, "why are you unhappy?"

"I know what you're about to say," she retorted fiercely, "that I, of all people, have no reason to complain about my life here. I'm the most powerful person in the town and everyone respects me and does what I command. I've heard that all before and you can be sure that I am well aware of the advantages of my current position. I have all that I need and want in life. I _should _be happy."

"But you're not," Archie added.

"No, I'm not," she echoed curtly, surprised at her own outburst.

It was one thing for her to rant to Mr. Gold, a person towards whom she had always had strong negative feelings, even if he didn't know their history together. But for her to reveal so much of her true feelings to someone who had once been a _cricket_ was a novelty indeed. But it would only be bizarre to her, knowing what Dr. Hopper had been in their land, and now, this felt strangely comforting. It was good to have someone to listen to her, not just to receive commands.

"Why do you think that is?" she then asked Archie, curious to hear his thoughts and eager to provoke more serious thought. There was something strangely satisfying about seeing the constantly cheerful doctor look grave and serious for a change.

"For some people, a life of constancy and routine is very comforting," Archie replied carefully, "living every day in the same way gives a sense of stability and reliability that brings peace and satisfaction. I'd like to count myself among such people and I think most people in town share the same view. But I also understand that for others, this isn't enough."

"But why shouldn't it be?" Regina asked, "Why can't it be enough for me?"

"Not everyone is the same, Madam Mayor," Archie answered, "and I'm sure you cannot compare yourself to everyone else in town."

"Certainly not," Regina said proudly and Archie was glad that this remark seemed bring out her queenly demeanor again.

"You are unlike anyone I've ever met," Archie added suddenly and having realized what he had just blurted out, he blushed, looked away and pretended to adjust his glasses.

_There's nothing wrong with what I said_, he thought, _it doesn't sound incriminating at all. It's a perfectly neutral compliment. It has nothing to do with my personal feelings._

And as Archie struggled with his embarrassment, Regina looked at him with a raised eyebrow. She wondered why he was so flustered; she had never seen him in such a state before.

"Thank you," she said earnestly.

Archie found the courage to look her in the eye again and saw that other than regarding him with mild amusement, she suspected nothing about the significance of what he had just said. He sighed inwardly with immense relief.

"Well, if you are still unhappy with this life, there must be something important missing," Archie continued more calmly, "something that you need."

"And what is it that I need?" Regina asked, a bit defensively since she was preparing herself for some patronizing suggestion.

"I don't know," Archie answered humbly, and his sincerity put Regina less on her guard. She now listened attentively to what he was going to say.

"I have no right to tell you what you need," he continued, "but I think that since this seemingly monotonous life is what makes you unhappy, some change might be good for you."

"Change can be a very dangerous thing," Regina commented gravely.

"Or something really wonderful too, it works both ways," Archie replied, "but either way, there are risks involved and sometimes, these things are irreversible."

"Oh, I am well aware of that," Regina said grimly.

_More than you could possibly know,_ she added to herself.

Archie looked a little concerned and decided to lighten up the discussion a bit.

"But it doesn't necessarily have to be a grand adjustment to the way things are," he suggested, "even just a minor alteration to make your days more interesting, a small break in routine, maybe or a new activity."

_Something like this,_ he added to himself since he wouldn't mind spending more time with the mayor. But he didn't dare suggest it.

"I see," Regina replied pensively, taking all that he said into consideration, "and that would make me happy?"

"At the very least," Archie suggested hesitantly, "you wouldn't be bored?"

And then, for the first time during that whole unexpected session, Regina smiled.

She saw that he was really making an effort to help her and that he seemed eager to make her happy, not in a groveling, subservient way but out of genuine concern. And though such kindness was always to be expected of Dr. Hopper, and though she had resented this type of "goodness" for so long, at that moment, she appreciated it. It was like a breath of fresh air in a room that had been stifling for so long.

And Regina was so lost in her own thoughts that she failed to notice the effect her smile had on Dr. Hopper. He was relieved to see that the shadow had been lifted from her. And he could not describe the joy he felt at seeing her smile and even better, having caused it. He must have done something right. He rarely saw her smile these days and after hearing about her troubles, he now understood why. He was so glad that he now had some idea of how to help her.

"I suppose so," the lady said at length, "that is something."

She _would_ be happy. Like everything else that was precious, and surely Rumple would have reminded her of this if he remembered who he was, happiness would come at a price. But had she not paid enough?

"Don't worry, Regina," Archie reassured her, only now daring to address her by name, "you will be happy. You deserve to be."

"How do you know that?" she asked warily.

_You don't even remember who I really am, _she thought, _if you did, would you still say such a thing?_

"Everyone deserves to be happy," he replied, "and I truly hope that you will find your happiness someday."

_And I will do everything I can to make that happen, _he could not help but think.

Regina nodded. Even if he didn't remember who he was and who she was, his concern for her was real and she knew that. And since this life was the only reality left for them, she accepted it. It was good enough.

"Thank you," she said, standing up and getting ready to leave, "this was very helpful."

Archie stood up to see her out though he was sorry that the conversation had come to an end. But she was still a busy woman and no doubt she had other duties to attend to. He had some tasks to finish as well but he doubted he would be able to turn his mind to any of them after this unusual interview. It was a day of discovery, not only of Regina's troubles but of his own feelings as well. He was surprised at how much he had revealed of himself in trying to reach out to her and he needed some time to recover and reflect.

"I'm glad I was able to be of service in some way," he said earnestly, "and you are always welcome to drop by if you feel the least bit bored. I'm not the most interesting person in the world but I'll try to amuse you as best as I can."

"I'll bear that in mind," Regina replied with a small, professional smile before she walked out the door.

She had come to see him without expecting anything but as she took her leave; she realized that she felt slightly better than she had felt in quite a long time. She wasn't exactly happy, not yet. But somehow, this was not a bad start.

Archie watched her go in wonder. She had no idea of the effect she had on him but he was certain that after this, none of his days would ever be the same again.


End file.
